Nice place to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live here

Well, I’m down to my last 24 hours in Russia, and I can’t wait to get home.  As the title says, Russia is a nice enough place to visit.  St. Petersburg is very beautiful, Moscow isn’t half bad, and once you get past the culture shock and get used to everywhere being a little dirty and being about 20 years in the technological past, it’s alright.

I’m so glad I came to Russia.  Not only did I meet some amazing people, but I think that to really appreciate what you have, you have to leave it behind for a while.  Moving to NYC made me realize how much my family, friends, and hometown actually mean to me and how lucky I am to have them.  Visiting Russia made me realize how much I love America and how lucky I was to be born there.  Our government may not be perfect, but compared to the corruption in Russia, everyone in Washington should have a little halo over their heads.  Our water is clean in most parts of the country, and we have good–if expensive–healthcare.  We’re technologically spoiled, and also spoiled in terms of freedom; what we do, what we say, and how we live our lives.

I’m sure I’ll come back one day, when I speak a bit more Russian, and will explore other parts of the country.  But for now, I’m happy as a clam to sit back and anxiously count down the hours until my flight takes off and I head home to be with my family again.

This time it’s live from Moscow!

As stated in my previous post, I took the night train on Tuesday from St. Petersburg to Moscow.  It left at 12:40am and arrived at 10:15am.  Overall, it was pretty uneventful.  I was in a 4-person cabin with 2 middle aged women and 1 in her 20s, but as soon as the train left we all made up our bunkbeds and slept most of the way.  Nope, not very exciting.

After I arrived in Moscow, I navigated the subway and found the hostel with little trouble.  The hostel is alright, nothing too special.  There’s a common room with a computer for internet and a tv, and two rooms lined with bunk beds, like an army barrack.  I’ve seen worse, but I’m definitely already looking forward to sleeping in my own bed this Saturday night.

After getting settled in, I did some sightseeing.  I walked down Tverskaya road (the main road in Moscow), saw Red Square, St. Basil’s Cathedral, GYM–the largest department store in Moscow, and also the most luxurious (one word to describe it: damn!), some famous theaters, churches, and lots of other well-known buildings.  Tomorrow it’s off to a museum, then more walking around.  So far, I must say that Moscow is not quite as nice as St. Petersburg, but I think that’s because Moscow is a city for business whereas St. Petersburg is supposed to be the “beautiful cultural capital.”  I’m mildly impressed so far, and I guess I’ll just have to see if tomorrow will change my attitude.

Goodbye St. Petersburg….

Yesterday was my last day in St. Petersburg.  I finished my last exam for the summer school, and the group went to a little reception at a nearby restaurant.  I had to leave early so I could pack for the night train to Moscow, and as I was leaving, the most unexpected thing happened:  I felt my eyes welling up.

There were 30 of us in the program.  We were all acquaintances by chance and some of us became genuine friends by choice.  Even though I only knew them for 2 weeks, it felt like much longer.  I guess that’s what happens when you’re around the same people all the time: you bond much more quickly than normal.  Add in the fact that none of us was very good in Russian and we were in a Russian-speaking country, and the bonding was even faster, from a survival standpoint if nothing else.

The program itself was not all of what I expected, but the city and the people were great, and it was an experience I’m glad I didn’t miss.  Hopefully some of us can keep in touch via email and facebook, because I highly doubt our paths will cross again.  In 10 years, it’s not going to be the boring lectures I remember, it’s going to be the experiences I had with the people I was lucky enough to meet (and, of course, the experiences with the people I could have done without meeting, lol)

Superiority Syndrome

“Superiority syndrome” was a phrase that my professors in St. Petersburg liked to use to describe foreigners who come into Russia and decide to “teach” them how to live, do business, etc.  According to them, that is a very, very bad thing.  Then some random person who apparently is very bitter commented “I’ve read a few of your blogs.  You seem like the typical spoiled American.  You’ll make a perfect middle manager at Starbucks.”  Which lead me to ask myself: “Hmm, am I a spoiled American with a superiority complex?”  Damn right I am.  And I (obviously) don’t think it’s a bad thing.

As far as being spoiled:  is it my fault I was born and raised in a first world country where hygeine, security, and freedom are considered necessities, not luxuries?  Where people generally make enough money to have comfortable lives?  Where we can drink tap water, have one stop shopping, and live in relatively clean areas with a government that doesn’t blatantly try to control every aspect of our lives?

And the superiority complex thing:  is it really a “complex” if your standard of living really is better, and the way you do business benefits more than just a few oligarchs?  I don’t think so.

One thing this trip to Russia has made me realize is just how lucky I am to be an American.  If non-Americans think that makes me automatically spoiled and a know-it-all, well, everyone’s entitled to their own opinions.

Food of the Gods

Taking a bite out of a blini from Teremok made me forget everything bad I’ve said about Russia.   This stuff is like crack.  Blini is basically a stuffed pancake.  You can put anything you want inside.  And I mean ANYTHING.  The top sellers are banana&chocolate and my personal favorite, caramelized apples and pecans.  So sweet, so bad for you, but so delicious!

Summarization is your friend

In life, you generally come across three types of lecturers.  The ones who move through the slides so rapidly you feel like you have whiplash, the ones who balance time and material very well, and the ones who drone on and on and on and on and on….

I’ve been fairly lucky in the course of my studies to have a variety of professors from all three of these areas.  The ones who give you whiplash balance out the monotone droners, and the ones who get it just right are your favorites.  In Russia, however, there seems to be only one kind of lecturer:  the droner.

Apparently one thing Soviet Russia did not teach these people was summarization.  There is really no need to read every word on the slide, then repeat it two more times using slightly different wording.  Seriously.  We got the point the first time.  And there’s certainly no need to inject two slides stating the same thing into later portions of your presentation.  All that does is make us want to stab ourselves in the eye with our pens.

But the best method is when the material that you’re droning on and on about has absolutely NOTHING to do with the course or the information on our handouts.  Yes, we love to waste our time learning meaningless facts only to get the exam and realize that you never quite got to the material on it because you were too busy telling us about the revolution in Kazakhstan five years ago.  Yes, that is certainly the best way to ensure that you receive high marks on your professor evalution….

Russian phrases I need to learn before returning

As the title says, here is just a small list of phrases I need to learn to say in Russian in case I come back here before I’m fluent:

1.  Stop yelling.  I already told you (in Russian) that I don’t speak Russian.  Repeating the same thing in a louder voice is not going to change that.

2.  Yes, non-smokers do exist.  Now quit blowing your smoke in my face.

3.   No.  For the last time, I DON’T drink!

4.  Put your shirt back on.  The weather may be hot, but you’re certainly not.

5.  You’re all paranoid.  The world is not trying to destroy Russia.  Foreign tourists are not really spies for their government seeking different ways to destroy Russia.  The West, frankly, doesn’t really give a damn about Russia.

Doing business in Russia? No thanks.

The point of this summer school is to teach us how to do business successfully in Russia as a foreign company.  What it’s teaching us instead is that doing business successfully in Russia as a foreign company is nearly impossible unless you’re willing to work outside of the law.

You know corruption in a country is bad when the residents of said country don’t deny it.  You know it’s horrible when they advise that you accept it and work within it. Every presentation so far has shown far more negative aspects of working in Russia than positive ones.  The government controls everything.  If you make them unhappy by say, laying off a couple hundred workers, you should expect the Tax Authorities at your door within a couple weeks to wreck your office for 4 months before deciding that you have X number of violations, X amount in unpaid taxes, and are not fit to do business.  This is not the exception, this is the rule.

As one of our professors put it: “One of the bad things about Russia is the immense number of obstacles you will inevitably face.  One of the good things about Russia is all the small companies willing to ‘fix’ those problems….for a fee.”

As a capitalist, I don’t see the second point as “good.”  I want to run my business how I want to run my business without having to pay a bunch of little agencies to fix imaginary problems and without worrying about whether my business is “pleasing” the government officials and without being blackmailed by said officials into using domestic, low-quality materials, as often happens.  Add in the fact that the majority of Russians are poor and I really don’t see the benefit of doing business here.  I’d rather stay in the more civilized, lawful countries where I can actually make a profit–you know, since that’s what you’re supposed to do in business.

No, actually, time is NOT relative

One of the most frustrating things I’ve noticed in Russia is something which our professor today blatantly admitted to: in Russia, time is relative and has no real meaning.  I can deal with people who are 10-15 minutes late.  Annoying? Yes, but whatever.  What I can’t deal with are people who have no respect for time whatsoever.

The cause of this rant is the computer lab at the university.  It’s supposed to be open from 10am-6pm Monday through Friday.  Myself and many other students in the summer school are completely dependent on these labs for internet usage.  Every day during our ‘coffee break’ from 11-11:30, we have to go hunt down the director and have her open the door.  Annoying.  So imagine the level of anger when we go to the lab today, find it closed as usual, and go to look for the director only to discover that she decided she didn’t feel like coming in today.  And apparently she’s the only one with the key.

To put it nicely, we were pissed.  We went up to the supervisor of our program and basically bitched her out (we let the Germans do most of the talking lol).  I guess she called the woman, who finally came in around 1pm to open the door.  10-6 Monday through Friday should mean 10-6 Monday through Friday!  So fucking frustrating!

In Soviet Russia, government owns you. In Post-Soviet Russia….government still owns you….

In America–and in most other countries, to my knowledge–we have one passport.  We use it to travel outside of the country, and sometimes when the government wants to verify our identities for security clearances and other such sensitive things.  But in Russia, apparently, they have not one, but two passports: one for moving within the country, and one for moving without.

When the professor told us this, you could see the confusion on every student’s face.  Why in the world would you need two passports?  The answer is so that the government can track your movements and know exactly where you are at any given time.  Each Russian citizen has to get this internal passport as soon as they are old enough to work.  This passport, instead of containing the visas and stamps of foreign countries, contains a stamp showing where you live and where you work.  If you don’t have such a stamp, it will be impossible for you to get another job or move to a new apartment.  And getting such a stamp is a long, drawn out, somewhat costly experience.

The professor said that when the international community first heard of this policy, they condemned it as a violation of the basic human right to privacy, but have since “come to their senses and realized that it’s preferable for a government to know where their citizens are at all times.  The world would be a better place if every country switched to the Russian system.”

I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like a very democratic view to me.  It actually sounds very Soviet, and very brainwashed.  If the USA tried to implement such a controlling policy, whoever backed it would be met with great outrage before being forced out of office and condemned to live life outside of the spotlight.  But in Russia, they apparently don’t mind the government trying to control every aspect of their lives…