When in Rome….

Some people seem to really believe in the old saying “when in Rome, do as the Romans do.” One such person is my ex-roommate and ex-friend, Julie.

Julie and I met freshman year of college. We immediately hit it off, even skipping orientation to go explore NYC. We spent a lot of time together-too much, actually, as we ended up having a huge fight in October over something tiny because we were sick of each other. We made up, spent a little less time together, and were just as close as before. One of the things that drew us together was that neither of us really drank. We went to a couple parties together and drank a little, but those times were few and far between.

Julie hated Stony Brook and transfered out spring semester. We chatted most days and visited each other a few times. Nothing really changed. That was not the case fall semester. Julie moved into a dorm suite with a bunch of girls who liked to drink. At first she told me how worried she was that she wouldn’t be able to study because of their parties. Soon, however, she was partying instead of studying, resulting in her failing two of her classes-both vital for her major. She started talking to me less and putting off plans to see each other.

The situation worsened in spring 2009. She was supposed to come visit me in the City, but kept putting it off, saying that she ” just didn’t have the money.” After a couple months of this sad excuse- it only costs $30 for a train ticket- I told her that if she didn’t want to come, just tell me and I would stop asking. Her response? That I “always took everything so fucking personally and she just didn’t have the fucking money.” I didn’t contact her for weeks, then tried to be the bigger person and asked her how everything was going. We started talking a little more and eventually talked about the amazing cupcakes at Magnolias. I said “if you’re ever in the City, we should go there.” she said “yeah, I’d like to, but I just don’t have the money.” The next week she went on a drinking trip to Florida with her roommates-not exactly a cheap vacation. I haven’t talked to her since.

What upset me the most was not so much that she lied to me, but that she thought I was too stupid to see her Facebook status updates and figure it out. I don’t understand how she went from a very intelligent, motivated girl to a partying failure, but I know it started as an attempt to fit in with her roommates, as completely pathetic as that is. I’m not mad at her anymore. I pity her. Life’s really going to suck when she finally realizes that college is not a game.

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