Women’s work

If there is any two-word phrase in the English language that immediately pisses me off, it’s that.  Men who consider cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc to be “women’s work” and refuse to even learn how to do it because of that are delusional.  I’ll cook, clean, etc because I’m better at it than you are, but the second you tell me it’s my “job,” or “it’s just what women do,” you’d better hope the couch is comfortable, or that your friends are willing to take you in.

I admit, there are some “guy things” that I don’t know about.  I should learn more about cars (ie: how to change a flat tire), but I do know how to mow the grass, fix the computer, fix a leaky faucet, etc.  I didn’t refuse to learn those because they’re “guy jobs,” and I expect the guys in my life to have the same attitude towards “women’s jobs.”

What spurred this rant was when my roommate’s bf came home after a “long day at work” (apparently 6.5 hours is a very long day, who knew….?) and was upset that dinner wasn’t ready.  She started apologizing, saying that she didn’t know he’d be coming over–you know, since he hadn’t told her–and she was too tired to cook, so she had just eaten leftovers.  He kept bitching and moaning about how hungry and tired he was until she was like “fine, let’s go out and get you something.”  My response to the situation would have been completely different.  You can think in your little mind that cooking is my job, but if I’m too tired to cook once in a while, you’d better not fucking bitch about it.  I’m your gf/wife, not your mother.  You are perfectly capable of making a sandwich or going out to get yourself dinner.  Stop acting like a helpless pathetic idiot, for crying out loud.  It’s embarrassing.

Another pitfall to this mentality that some guys have is that some women are just as hopeless at “women’s jobs” as most men are.  My friend EK, bless her little heart, can’t make a piece of toast to save her life.  But that’s okay, because she’s going to be a lawyer and marry rich, so she’ll be able to afford a cook and a maid 😉


The audacity of people never ceases to amaze me, especially when it comes to things like tests and projects.  So, we get back our marketing test, and my group member/friend of mine, S, and I both got high As, with the curve.  The guy sitting next to us asks us our grades, and when he hears them, this follows:


Him: “Oh wow, you guys are like freaking geniuses.  My group and I didn’t do so well.  You guys are so smart.  Maybe next time we should look off your tests.”

Me and S: “Uhh….”

Him: “You know, really.  We should.  I mean, you guys are so smart, so why not?”


Luckily the prof started talking so he had to leave us alone, but he was completely serious about cheating off us! I get that sometimes you don’t have time to study for a test and you do badly, but purposefully slacking and choosing to copy off other people really ticks me off.  Why would I put in the effort and let you reap the rewards?  Sorry, darling, it doesn’t quite work like that.  You want to graduate, you need to work for it.  If you’re not willing to do that, why the hell are you in college in the first place?

Can’t we just assassinate him now?

That was the response from my coworker, J, when I informed her that George W. Bush’s nephew was considering a career in politics.  He plans on going to war now (oh please, we all know rich, legacy soldiers don’t really fight) then running for office in Texas with the ultimate goal of the Presidency.

While I think J’s statement is a little extreme, I can’t say I disagree with the sentiment. We just got rid of Bush the Idiot, and I’ll be damned before I vote another one into office.  The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree, after all.  I know we shouldn’t judge someone based on their last name alone, but with a last name such as Bush, I really can’t help it.  The fact that I’m a staunch Democrat and all Bush’s are Republicans is just another major point against him.

I really want to believe that we’re not stupid enough to elect another Bush, but we elected Bush the Idiot twice, and the Repubs of this country were all rearing to elect McCain and Alaskan Barbie.  I can only hope that by the time he runs for office in 2020 or 2024, the staunch, insane sect of the Republican party dies out with the old people.

Group work? No thanks.

I’ve never been a fan of group work. It doesn’t teach you how to work in a group, it teaches you how to work with mainly incompetent people and end up doing most of the work yourself. It actually is a lot like the real world, but after doing it a few times, the lesson is learned and there’s absolutely no reason for every prof to do several group activities.

Though I’ve never liked it, I’ve always taken charge to get the job done, but this year I just can’t seem to give a damn. If a group is work-related or comprises a large percent of my grade, I’ll step up, but if it’s for nothing or a few extra credit points that I don’t really need, I simply sit back and do nothing unless I have too. I’m not hostile, and will do something if asked, but I don’t take any initiative. I’m sure it annoys my group members to no end, but I’ve spent years dealing with deadbeats and it’s my turn to freeload for once.

Yesterday, for example, we had to do a pointless group brainstorming session to come up with new ideas for Jello. The person who came up with the winning idea that everyone in the class agreed on would get 10 extra credit points. I was not interested for several reasons: 1) I’m already cruising towards an A in that class 2) I’m not an entrepreneur. If I don’t work for the company or get anything real out of it, I don’t care enough to rack my brain. 3) a 1/80 chance of 10 ec points was not enough to make me care. One of my group members kept turning to me saying “what do you think? You haven’t said anything. Blah blah blah” until one guy was finally like “can’t you see she doesn’t care?” in a voice that showed that he clearly shared that feeling. Thank you! Finally, a guy who’s not completely clueless!



One of my favorite places in the City is the Ramble in Central Park.  It’s a gorgeous network of trails through nearly untamed woods, and it doesn’t get much more beautiful than when the leaves are changing in the fall.  I took advantage of the beautiful weather today to take a ramble through the Ramble, and it was like falling in love 😉


To get to this wilderness, you must first weed your way through the throngs of tourists and families.  Climbing over the large rock formation along one side of the large lake, you then cross a crowded bridge, and voila, you have arrived.  It takes a few more minutes of walking before the crowd around you starts to thin, but before you know it, you’re practically alone (well, as alone as you can get in New York City).  Aside from the occasional helicopter or group of obnoxiously loud people, the path is very quiet and serene.  There are many routes to choose from–by the lakeside, over bridges, winding through the trees, etc.  There were several points where I stopped, looked around, and realized there was not another soul in sight.  For the first time in I don’t know how many months, I was not within sight or sound of another human being.  It was amazing.


There’s really nothing quite like a walk alone through the woods, listening to the sounds of small waterfalls, and of animals rustling in the leaves.  I’ve never been a people person, and there are few places more populated than New York City, so it’s really nice to have a place where I can just get away without having to stay locked in my apartment.  Nothing against my friends from up here, but I think Central Park is what I’ll miss most when I leave.  After all, friends have facebook, but pure nature cannot be electronically replicated.  And, perhaps, that’s part of the appeal.


The definition of friendship tends to change slightly with each friend, but one thing that remains constant is that friends are supposed to support each other.  I admit, I’ve had some problems with this, as I’m a very blunt person, and it’s hard for me to pretend to support that which I really don’t support.  Yet, not supporting is not really an option.

Everyone has ideas that are viewed by others as “stupid,” but friends are supposed to move past that stereotypical view and support whatever makes their friend happy.  From that perspective, supporting a friend is easy.  But, what do you do when you think that the idea or action has the potential to backfire catastrophically?  Like the extremely book-smart person who decides to put off real college in order to go to a bible-college, so that she has no choice but to go to a community college later on?  Or the person who dreams of being the best in a field that they’re completely unsuited for personality-wise?  Or the person who believes they are much better at a certain skill (be it music, art, writing, etc) than they actually are, and plans to pursue that as their one and only future career?

Being honest about your thoughts can end friendships, but so can saying nothing, which tends to be my reaction of choice in this situation.  But, if I pretend to support them, I almost feel as though I’m betraying them by letting them do something that could hurt them so much.  I try as hard as I can not to judge them–after all, I ranted for my whole previous post about how I hate that–but I see this as slightly different.  It’s not that I think they should live life the way I do, for I know my way is not right for everyone, I just think they should be realistic about their skills, passions, and futures.  If you want to study religion, go to a reputable religiously-funded school instead of a community-college type bible college followed by a community college.  If you don’t have the inner drive and the passion to be a lawyer, doctor, or business-person, don’t do it just for the money or just because you don’t know what else to do.  Money doesn’t buy happiness–I got lucky enough that my inner passion will bring me both happiness and money, but not everyone can have the same desires, and in the end, happiness is what counts.  And if you really want to pursue a career in something as subjective as art/music/writing, make sure you have a plan B because, no matter how good you think you are, there’s a chance that many people won’t see your work that way.


If there’s one thing I hate, it’s been judged for my “lifestyle.”  Or, rather, for my lack of lifestyle, as seen through the eyes of some others.  I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs, don’t go out clubbing, and rarely drink, and because of that–as well as the fact that I’m a hard worker and dedicated to school–many people assume I have absolutely no fun, no life, and could not possibly be happy.


I don’t understand the people who think the only way you can have fun is if you’re drunk.  Sorry, but that’s just not the case for me.  I have much more fun when I’m sober than I do when I’m drunk, but that could be because I absolutely detest the bitter taste of most alcohol.  My close friends and I prefer hanging out, chatting, going out to lunch/movies/bowling/museums, etc to going clubbing.


What spurred this rant was an emailed conversation between myself and one of my coworkers, J.  J was “concerned” because she felt I was missing out on life since I’m “always at work or school and never do anything else or hangout anywhere else.”  Then she started listing famous places in New York that I’ll “regret not going to since I’ll have lived in New York City for years and not experienced anything.”  Sorry J, but you couldn’t be more wrong.


Yes, I spend a lot of time at school and work, but I have Friday evenings and the weekend to do whatever I want.  I go to museums, parks, touristy-spots, basically anywhere of interest in the City, including the outer boroughs and even Jersey.  I google search every weekend to find something I haven’t done that I want to, and it’s getting incredibly hard to find anything.  I do have some casual acquaintances/friends outside of my coworkers who I hang out with when our schedules mesh, and just because I don’t tell her about every single thing I do doesn’t mean I do nothing.  She kept on lecturing me in her “mothering voice” about how I should be out “experiencing life and going through a wild child phase, or else I’ll regret it,” and it really pissed me off.  And then she continued by asserting that I was alienating myself by never socializing, and would be very sorry in the end because I would forget how.




As far as a “wild child” phase, that just doesn’t appeal to me.  There were several weeks in college when my first roommate and I would go out clubbing or go to frat parties or floor parties, and I hated most of it, so why would I want to try it again?  And alienation?  Just because I prefer a group of 8-10 close friends to countless acquaintances doesn’t mean I’m alienated.  And how could I forget how to socialize when I do it with her 40 hours a week, and am constantly facebooking, emailing, texting, or skyping with my friends from back home, as well as going out with friends from up here?  This point is an epic fail for her argument.



Amazingly, I’ve heard this whole “you’ll regret it if you don’t live life the way I think you should” argument before.  Many times, in fact.  I don’t expect people to understand my mentality–since it is different from many people my age–but I do expect them to respect the fact that I have a different mentality and am perfectly happy with my life.  So I don’t live life the way they did/still do.  So fucking what?  I’m not them and I don’t want to be.


What really irks me about being judged is when the person doing the judging should really be focusing on their own lives.  I love J, but she should not be lecturing me.  She just screwed up a great relationship with a great guy because of her fear of commitment, and constantly uses her child as an excuse not to better her life or move outside of her comfort zone.  Maybe I’m being a little harsh on her, but if she’s going to judge me, she should be prepared to be judged herself.  The only difference between the two of us is that I will never tell her to her face that I think she’s wasting her potential and will look back in a few years with regret, because I’m not her, so I could I possibly know that for sure?