Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Today, my coworker J broke up with her long-time bf L. They had been arguing and having some problems for the past few months, but I guess today he pushed her over the edge. He sent her an email in the morning–I don’t know what it said, but her comment was that he should feel lucky she’s not PMSing because she felt like scratching his eyes out. So, she told him she couldn’t talk to him until she was calm, but he wouldn’t leave her alone, so they fought via gchat for most of the day and she told him that she “didn’t want to try anymore” towards the end.

I know J’s upset and I feel bad for her, but I don’t completely blame L for the breakup. Yes, he acted like an idiot, but J’s the one who let it get out if control. If she didn’t want to talk to him, she should have logged off gchat and fbchat, or just not answered him. Just because someone ims, emails, or texts you doesn’t mean you HAVE to respond. Besides, fighting is stressful enough as it is, so why would you fight when you’re feeling overwhelmed at work, like she said she was today? That’s just asking for trouble.

This also goes back to my philosophy of keeping your professional and personal lives separate. You shouldn’t be iming your significant other constantly during the work day in the first place, and you’re certainly not getting paid to fight with them. I don’t understand how you have that much to talk about anyway, and if you’re constantly giving each other a play-by-play of your day, what will you have to talk about when you’re actually together? Maybe it’s just me, but when I talk to or see a person all the time, the littlest things they do start to tick me off and we start to pick fights with each other. For me, distance is essential for a healthy relationship.

I can’t say if J and L are over for good, but it would be a real shame if two people who seemed so happy together ruined a relationship that could have been saved by simply not being in contact 24-7.


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