Cry me a river

One thing I hate, hate, hate about myself is my inability to control tears.  I don’t cry very often, but when I do, I can’t stop it.  I only cry when I’m sad if it involves missing my family or leaving them or something, but I well up sometimes when I’m frustrated, angry, or exasperated.  Sometimes I even feel it coming on when I’m doing something that makes me a little nervous, like having to confront a professor or boss or something.  That’s pretty rare, since I’m usually fairly comfortable in my relationships with people like that, but sometimes I won’t even know I’m nervous until I start talking and have to make a concerted effort to keep it together.

I’m a control freak, and I can’t stand not being in complete control of myself.  Almost every other emotion I can control, but not this.  I’ve done google searches to find little tricks, or tried just forcing myself to stop, but it doesn’t work!  I can postpone it–I don’t cry at the airport or on the plane, just when I’m dropped off and when I finally reach my apartment–but rarely does it go away.  It’s so annoying!

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