Couldn’t have said it better myself, Marc.
So JChin went out with her female friend M last night for M’s birthday. When she got home, her bf L proceeded to accuse her of cheating because she wasn’t answering calls or texts while out with M. So they had a huge fight and she’s pissed at him and he’s pissed at her, and she’s all upset because he was supposed to watch her kid on Friday but she doesn’t want him to if he’s going to accuse her of cheating, so she’s taking out her bad mood on everyone here. Okay, let’s break this down:
1. JChin’s not the cheater here, but L clearly is. After all, no one’s more paranoid about being cheated on than a cheater (JChin’s had her suspicions) and why would he suddenly get all clingy and defensive over a few hours that he couldn’t contact her unless he himself was cheating the last time he was “unavailable” for a while?
2. Even if he didn’t cheat, he’s being super clingy, which would be enough for me to break up with him. JChin’s spoiled him in that she sees him almost every night, so now he thinks he’s entitled to it, and that if she’s out with anyone else, that’s unacceptable. Please. Grow up. Even couples who are actually married go out and do things alone with their friends–unless they’re the rare type who actually enjoy spending every waking second together and don’t need to see anyone else outside of work. Very rare, but kudos to them. JChin and L, however, are not this type of couple.
3. I agree that what L did would piss me off too, but stop acting like a complete victim. She’s accused him many a time without hard evidence (though the circumstantial was pretty good), and you shouldn’t dish what you can’t take. Yes, he’s acting like a complete idiot, but he’s a man, so he’s entitled to his moments of stupidity. You fought about it, now either break up with him or let it go. She does this with every issue. She either blows it up or never resolves it (usually both) and it’s constantly hanging over their relationship. She varies between completely in love with him and wanting to end it. Yes, every couple has fights–sometimes really big ones–but she needs to decide if this is a relationship she wants to work at–since all relationships take work–or not. And if not, she should end it for his sake and the sake of her kid, if not for herself and the sake of her coworkers who are forced to endure her bitchy mood swings.
4. Frankly, unless somebody died, keep your bad mood to yourself. Talk about it with people who want to know (like Lea and LJB, etc) but don’t snap at everyone who asks you a work-related question and act like the world is ending. Seriously. Grow the fuck up and act like a professional adult.