What’s in a name?

I read an article on Shine asking women if they changed their last names when they got married.  I was surprised by the number of commenters who said they didn’t or absolutely never would–many of them even said it was a deal breaker.  Some had legitimate arguments: they were writers, doctors, entrepreneurs, etc who had built their names into powerful brands.  To change would mean having to start building their reputations practically from scratch again.  But most of the women were simply “feminists” who loudly proclaimed that it was their right to keep their name, their name was their identity, and changing it was an outdated chauvinistic practice.  And then there were the people who said the paperwork just wasn’t worth the trouble…..

For one thing, I’d never realized people had such strong feelings about this.  It’s a no-brainer for me:  when you get married, you change your name.  Really, the only situation in which I wouldn’t change my name would be if his last name was completely ridiculous and would be cruel to wish on anyone.  If that was the case, I would hope he would change his name to mine.

Personally, I don’t see changing my name as “giving up my identity.”  And I’m not “giving in” to him or “giving him control.”  It’s just a name for crying out loud.  It’s never defined who I am, and it never will, but if I’m marrying someone I’m presumably planning to spend the rest of my life with them, so doing the paperwork would be well worth not having to explain for the next 60 years that ‘yes, we’re actually married’ and ‘yes, I’m the birth mother of the children even though they have a different last name,’ etc….


Welcome Back….

Oh man, I cannot wait until I don’t have to live with roommates anymore.  My first Saturday back (my first day back, actually, since I didn’t get in until evening yesterday) and my roommates are having a bbq/let’s get drunk and play beer pong party.  At least I knew about this one ahead of time because J “asked for permission,” but it’s not like I could have told her no because we pay the same rent, so she has the same right to have people over that the rest of us do.  I wouldn’t mind if they didn’t intrude on my space, but I find it annoying when the throngs surrounding the beer pong table block the way to the stairs (and therefore to my room) and are too drunk to move when I say “excuse me,” so I have to practically shove them out of the way.  And you can forget about going downstairs to the bathroom or kitchen.  And then there’s the whole thing of sound travelling up the stairs and through my door so I much listen to my tv with headphones or not be able to hear it at all, even at the highest volume.  Considering I was planning on waiting out the party by watching a couple movies and/or episodes of Mad Men, this is inconvenient, to put it lightly.  Sigh.  Four more months…..


I read an article recently on Yahoo!Shine about how the brains of men just aren’t wired to allow them to experience many emotions simultaneously.  They might feel two (mayyybe three) at a time, and aren’t able to think logically when upset (which is why so many of them think that tears= automatically irrational).  At the moment I envy them, because right now I am:

-Sad that I had to leave home and come back to NY

-Comforted by the return to my old daily routines

-Excited to start my last semester of undergrad

-Anxious about all the group projects I know are coming

-Annoyed that my grade from last spring still isn’t fixed and I have to meet with the prof  who said he’d write me a recommendation letter in April

Looking forward to being in Montreal in two weeks

-Nervous about having to start applying for real jobs, real soon


-I went to the dentist yesterday (and got a $25 discount because of the appointment mix up, yay!).  Everything was fine, except that one of my fillings has a hole in it, so they want to redo it in the spring….and they want to take my wisdom teeth out.  So that’s what I get to look forward to in January after I graduate……Not fun 😦

-I got my hair chopped off today.  Well, “chopped-off” might be a bit misleading, since it’s still chin length.  I wouldn’t mind going shorter, but I don’t have the bone structure for it.  Super short hair would make my face look a bit fat XP.  One thing I hate about getting my hair done is that the stylist always tries to make small talk the entire time (even when using the blow dryer) and I detest small talk.  She’s very nice and I love how she handles my hair, but I could really do without the chatter.

-My 3 year old cousin Zoe is sooo cute.  My mom and I took her and Syd to the park to feed the ducks and play this morning (see pic).  I hadn’t been to that park in probably a decade, but my grandma and I used to go there all the time.  Ah, memories.

-I was going to go see baby Savannah tonight (she’s the really sick baby cousin), but I have a cold and her immune system is still practically non-existent, so I have to skip.  What a bummer, but I’m not going to risk sending her back to the hospital just because I wanted to see her 😦

-My mom and I could not be more different when it comes to nail polish.  I like either deep reds, blues, and purples or bright reds and blues.  All she has are boring blah pinks and cream colored things.  More professional and conservative, yes, but also totally boring.

-I’ve gotten so used to walking around NYC that I forget that not every city is pedestrian friendly.  I parked at the library, walked a couple blocks to a shop on Main Street, and on the way back decided to jay walk because no cars were coming.  Well, just as I get halfway across a car makes a left and starts coming towards me.  I’m not worried (after EK drags me through moving traffic on 8th Avenue, how could I be? lol) and I get across just fine.  But this older guy sitting outside is like “You scared the crap out of me!  Don’t do that again!”  I was so tempted to be like “don’t worry, I’ve come closer to being hit by a car than that,” but I wasn’t sure how that would go over…..On the plus side, it’s nice to be back in a place where folks notice/care about others.  I hate small talk for the sake of small talk, but things like this are fine.

So sad…

I was supposed to have a dentist appointment this morning, but the people there messed it up and scheduled it for tomorrow.  The mix up wasn’t really annoying, because it’s not like I have much planned for tomorrow, but I hated how the receptionist used her fake sweet “I think you’re an idiot” voice on me.  Especially since I specifically asked for an appointment on Monday and put it into my Google calendar as I was making it……

Anyway, after leaving the dentist’s office, I decided to go over to a place called the Watershed, which was just a couple blocks away.  It’s basically a nature preserve with a lot of trails and all that.  I used to live right by there and spent many weekends picnicking and/or hiking with friends.  I hadn’t been in a few years, and it was soooo depressing.  The recession clearly hit this place pretty hard.  I remember it in its prime, when there were manicured trails (which amazingly didn’t take away from the “naturalness”), bird-watching spots, picnic tables, benches, etc, etc.  Today it looked like nothing had been checked over in a year or more.  True, there weren’t dead branches or severe overgrowth on the main paths, but benches were rotting, some paths were closed because of the disrepair, and the bird-watching area–which used to be amazing–is now used as a dump for fallen branches….. so sad 😦


I’d always loved cupcakes, but always assumed they were just birthday party food until EK introduced me to Magnolias.  Those $2.75 cupcakes are amazing and I knew I would miss them sorely after I moved back home…..but then I find out that while I’ve been gone a shop called the Cupcakery opened just two minutes from my house!  I took my sis there today.  The price is the same, but the cupcakes are literally twice as large and just as delicious. I had the Tuxedo (dark chocolate cake and vanilla buttercream icing) and my sister had the classic vanilla with vanilla.  I can’t wait to go back and try some other flavors.  That peanut butter cup one looked incredibly tasty… And now I don’t have to be in NYC to feed my addiction to overpriced bakery cupcakes.  Yay! 😀

Natalie’s Visit and Home Sweet Home

I haven’t really blogged in a while; partially because I haven’t had much to say, but mainly because I’ve been really busy.  I finished up summer classes on the 12th (three classes, three A’s woohoo!) and the next day Natalie arrived.  We did a lot of touristy things while she was here: Staten Island Ferry, Empire State, Central Park, Met Museum, ice cream cones on the Coney Island Boardwalk, etc, etc, etc.  My favorite part was when we went to Caffe Palermo in Little Italy.  The cannolis were amazing, but the chocolate profiteroles were to die for. For those who don’t know, profiteroles are essentially chocolate-covered, cream-filled cream puffs.  So delicious, but so unhealthy 🙂  We also went to see Memphis on Broadway.  It wasn’t my first (or second or third) choice, but it was alright. At least we only paid $26.50 for it, thanks to student rush.

Generally when I have friends up we get a little snappy with each other after a couple days, because you can only be around someone for so long before they start to annoy you.  Amazingly, that only happened once with Natalie, when I “pressured” her into making a decision of whether she really wanted to go to the Met because we’d only have like 90 minutes there.  She gets flustered really easily (she got “overwhelmed and confused” at Gray’s Papaya for crying out loud) and she hates being forced to choose.  What’s weirder is that she dreams of living in a big city like Chicago or Boston, yet if I hadn’t been with her in NYC she would have been eaten alive because she’s been sheltered her whole life and doesn’t have a whole lot of common sense.  I know that sounds mean, but the fact remains that she has no street smarts whatsoever.  But maybe moving to a big city will be good for her because it will force her to leave some of her naivety behind….or maybe she’ll just get mugged and taken advantage of…..oy….

Anyway, I’m home now and loving it.  My little sis is soooo cute, and the brothers are a little less obnoxious than I remember lol.  Me and mom are doing a road trip thing tomorrow to Springfield; it’ll be nice to have a girl’s morning out.  I do miss NY a little (mainly Central Park) but that doesn’t mean I’m not looking forward to moving back home in December.  NYC will always have a special place in my heart, but just because I like parts of it doesn’t mean I need to live there.  I’ll admire it through rose-colored glasses from afar and visit a couple times a year 😉