Guilty by Association

I’ve never understood the people who let the actions of others define what they do in their own lives.  I was chatting with one of my friends and somehow hockey came up and all of a sudden she was like “I don’t understand how you can still like Rangers hockey when M was the one who introduced you to it.  I mean, you even went to a game with him.”  My first thought was ‘Why wouldn’t I?’  I love hockey.  Why would I quit watching just because I’m no longer talking to the guy who first explained the rules to me?  That seems tres stupid.


I suppose it’s easy for me to say that because I don’t have any bad emotional feelings when it comes to M.  I’m not angry with him for acting like a creep and a jerk, and, on the flip side, I’m certainly not waiting for his next text/email.  I’ve pretty much completely detached.  If I never hear from him again, it wouldn’t make much difference (though it would be a tad awkward if I ever go visit people at LJB…..).  I’m sure some people are thinking “of course you’ve detached, you weren’t the one whose romantic dreams were crushed,” but just because I wasn’t the one futilely pursuing unrequited love (while married, in case anyone forgot that part….) doesn’t mean I wasn’t hurt by the fallout.  For two months, I thought he would take a hint and back off in order to save the friendship, because I thought it meant something to him.  But, apparently sleeping with me meant more than the friendship, and he didn’t want to have a civilized relationship if there wasn’t something more in it for him.  I used to be all “Sure, girls and guys can be friends without either wanting more,” but M’s definitely jaded me when it comes to that.  I still think it’s possible…..but much more rare than I thought before.


Well, enough of that.  The purpose of this post was not to rant about M.  I’ve done that plenty already lol.  Idk, I suppose it just struck me as completely idiotic to feel like you have to get rid of everything in your life which has a connection to someone who hurt you, regardless of whether you love that thing or not.  In my opinion, that’s just a recipe for permanent resentment because every time you see something related to the thing you gave up, you’re going to remember the person you gave it up for and everything they did to you.  You’ll never get over it.  Isn’t it healthier to continue enjoying the thing you love regardless?  Gradually, life will move on and the association will disappear.  Eventually, you probably won’t even remember there was an association at all.


3 Responses to “Guilty by Association”

  1. kive87 Says:

    I mean if you’re really attached and those things immediately remind you of the person then you have to distance yourself from those things for a while but that wasn’t the case here. It’s not like you were madly in live with him and remembering him makes you start sobbing.

    Also guys and girls can’t be friends!

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