No Going Back

In my desperation for a job, I applied to work at the movie theater again.  I could have just walked in and asked for a job, but the company had been bought out and my favorite managers had either quit or been relocated.  The one manager I did still know was not exactly my biggest fan. We joked and got along publicly, but I think she resented the fact that it had taken her years to be promoted to a shift leader, while, within a year of starting, I was promised the position as soon as I turned 18 and was legally old enough to have it.

Anyway, this was weeks ago and I’d forgotten about it until I received a voicemail from the new hiring manager late last week.  I didn’t return the call.  I got another voicemail from him a few minutes ago.  I don’t think I’ll be returning this one either, though I’m soooo tempted.  For one thing, I know I’d get the job, because I’ve done the job before, and done it well.  But….I just can’t.  The pay would just barely be enough to get by.  I’d have trouble paying back my student loans early (I might even have issues paying them on time). And the job would be at the same theater I left.  It might be different if it was a theater in STL where I didn’t know some of the shift leaders and floor staff.  I’d feel like a failure if I left the theater, went to NY, got a degree, moved back home, and went back to the exact same job that I had before I left.  What was the point of getting my degree then?  Even if I get an office job, at least I can justify that I’m learning skills I didn’t know before and have a new opportunity to move up.  How could I justify going back to do a job I already know inside and out?

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