Today, my coworker Michelle randomly mentioned that my coworker Mark and I would make a good couple. I laughed and acknowledged that while we do get along well, he has a lot of “interesting” dating adventures, and I’d much rather hear about them than be a part of them. Later I texted Mark to tell him about the hilarious incident:
Me: “Haha Michelle thinks we’d be a good couple lmao! I was tempted to tell her okcupid says we’re like 15% enemies” 😀
Mark: “Lol that’s awesome! Okcupid does have us at like 65% though :)”
Me: “I don’t have nearly enough baggage for you.” (Side note: he seriously has issues when it comes to dating. He’s a self-admitted masochist. Past flings–all in the 4 months I’ve known him– included a clingy psycho, an alcoholic druggy who couldn’t stand to be touched, and now an ex who he keeps going back to even though she’s openly seeing other people and even cancelled on him on Valentines Day because she had made plans with another guy a few weeks before they got back together)
Mark: “That’s probably true. You are quirky but seem pretty emotionally stable 🙂 lol”
That word “quirky” made me stop and think. I couldn’t decide whether to take it as a compliment, be offended, or not feel anything at all. One the one hand, I feel like “quirky” has a negative connotation. The definition of quirky is a “peculiar behavior.” I’ll be the first to admit that I have idiosyncrasies that other people may find odd, but why does that make me “quirky?” Just because I don’t fit into the mold of many of my peers, why does that make me “peculiar?” Why can’t it just make me, me? Not drinking, not feeling the need to be surrounded by people every moment of the day (I had to lie to get out of eating lunch with the people I spend the other 9 hours of my day with just because I wanted to be able to do some reading), being more mature than the average 22 year old, being more independent and happily single than the average girl, reading more in a year than most people do in their lives…..why do people act like I’m someone to be pitied when they find out I have these traits? It’s annoying and condescending and I hate it. (Not that Mark meant it that way at all, but his use of the word just made me think of other situations).
I know I’m splitting hairs, but there’s just something about that word….I can’t put my finger on it, but I just don’t like it. I have my habits, I have my idiosyncrasies, and yes, I suppose from an outsider’s point of view, I do have my quirks, but those quirks don’t define me. I’m me and you’re you. Why can’t we leave it at that?
(PS: to avoid sounding like a hypocrite, since I do stereotype, especially with the new girls at work–I constantly refer to them as blonde sorority chicks….which they are—I just want to clarify that I don’t see them as “weird” or judge them for how they live. They can live however they want. They are who they are and I am who I am. They might not be the types of girls I want to be friends with, but to each her own, I say. I just wish other people would say the same. Sigh)